Is it just me?

In the years since my mother died, I have gone overboard not to be like her in certain ways.

She was opinionated and cared nothing for how her opinions were stated or received. I on the other hand am very aware of how things are stated as well as how they are received - at least I try to be. And moreso I am aware of any time I begin to sound like my mother. So I try to be even less harsh when I express negative opinions.

And yet in the past week I have found myself on edge because I have been accused of speaking too harshly, of expressing a negative opinion in a way that "makes you sound like a bitch" (my daughter's words as she critiqued an email I had sent in response to an email thread).

So tell me - how do you accurately express your negative opinions and yet not step on anyone? When there is an emotionally-charged issue, there are bound to be people on both sides ... is it possible to truly express one's feelings without offending anyone?

In response to this particular issue, I have decided simply not to express my opinions at all until others have had their say. I do not want to attempt to sway others to my way of thinking, for this issue is truly one where a person must decide on his/her own in accordance with his/her beliefs. But is it best to keep my thoughts to myself on a topic where to express negative (opposing) opinions may brand one anti- or uncaring or even judgmental? At the very least politically incorrect?

So tell me friends - how do you make sure you do not offend others in such a situation and yet join in the "discussion"? Without making it an argument ... without driving people away or discounting their opinions?

I am open to suggestions and counsel, as this issue will not be settled for some time. And I want to be as understanding and positive as possible even though I might have opposing views from others in the conversation.

I'm listening!

Random thought

Just a quick post this morning...

Thinking about the things that come with advancing years: experience, maturity, wisdom, friends and freedom.

Yes - freedom!

A few weeks ago we took a trip to Dallas - we are not prone to flying, preferring to see where we are going on the way to where we are going, but time required that mode of transportation. I have not flown in years, and am usually petrified. So I asked my Christian Sisters to keep us in prayer, and the flights - both there and back - caused me no anxiety!

I have been thinking about this in the ensuing few weeks, and realize that there are things I do now, that I would have been scared to do in the past, that do not make me nauseous and faint. I can have blood drawn at the lab and get a check-up at the doctor's office. I have made dental appointments that do not fill me with dread.

There are still things that scare me - like colonoscopies and spiders and bats - but the fact the some things of which I used to be dreadfully afraid are manageable makes me believe that I will be able to conquer other fears as well...

Freedom from fear.

Oh - and that empty nest thing? It gives you the freedom to have whatever for dinner. It gives you the freedom to choose the channel, or leave the tv off. It gives you the freedom to come home early or late and not have to think of any schedules except one's own. And there's the freedom to then plan those evenings to meet with one's own interests and goals. And that of one's spouse, of course.

Are you enjoying the freedoms that come with being over 50? Please share!