Give up "Giving it up for Lent"

Today is Ash Wednesday. Traditionally this period leading up to Holy Week and Easter is a time when you hear "I've given that up for Lent" bandied about everywhere. And what are you hearing?

"I gave up candy."
"I gave up soda."
"I gave up beer."
"I gave up sweets."
"I gave up TV" ... or Facebook....

You get the idea. In fact you get tired of hearing it. SO may people are complaining about what they gave up, and are looking for sympathy about their chosen sacrifice. "Woe is me" they seem to say, "that I can't have that delicious chocolate cake you have there because I've given up chocolate for Lent."

Then, on Easter, these people who have suffered through Lent are gorging on candy and soda and spending hours upon hours catching up with their favorite shows and all the FB posts they missed. No permanent impact on their life was realized.

When I was in 5th grade I had a wonderful Sunday School teacher: Carol Jean Vollmerhausen. She wisely counseled us to give up something we really wanted/needed to give up. At that time she suggested such things as not making our bed, sassing our mother, procrastinating on assignments, etc.

So here is a suggestion: give up something you really WANT to give up:

• Do you want (or perhaps need) to give up all that candy you eat that is driving you toward diabetes? Then use Lent to give it up for good!
• Do you need to spend less time in front of the TV and more with your kids? Then use Lent to give up shows you don't really need/want to watch (things you watch just because you are sitting there) and use that for some family activity. 
• Do you want to stop smoking? Stop eating carbs? Start making use of your gym membership? (this requires that double negative of "stop not going to the gym")

Again, you get the idea: Use Lent as a springboard toward an improvement in your life.

Oh - because this is really a spiritual season, perhaps that goal is to spend more time in the Word of God and prayer. Then try giving up 30 minutes of sleep each morning to start a new habit of scripture reading and meditation, or giving up 30 minutes of TV time or using your lunch break ... whenever you can "give up not spending time with God" and begin a new habit that will then continue well past Easter.

Oh, and try to only tell a few accountability partners - not broadcast it to the whole world in lamenting tones. You might even tell those people in an excited voice that indicates you are looking forward to this life change!

I'd love to hear what you plan to sacrifice this Lenten season, and after Easter I'd love to hear how it has changed your life.

More Thoughts on Eating Lifestyles

I have no delusions that any of you are following the way we eat with rapt attention. But in the off-chance that anyone is interested, here are a few recent changes and learnings:

GLUTEN-FREE
While we no longer stick to a totally gluten-free lifestyle at home, we remain gluten-reduced. All of the flour and pasta we buy are gluten-free. By the way, if you have not tried Bob's Red Mill 1:1 Gluten-free flour, I strongly suggest you do.

As always, I continue to recommend that those who are beginning the gluten-free lifestyle refrain from trying to replace every item they normally eat with a store-bought gluten-free alternative. Choose what is most important. An English muffin or bagel at breakfast makes life bearable? Choose that.  A child who will feel more "normal" with a real sandwich for lunch a school? Choose bread for him/her.  Then make changes. Make wraps in a lettuce leaf rather than bread or tortillas. Steer away from pasta dishes (or cut back drastically - once every other week rather than every week or more). Find alternative recipes for things like pancakes and waffles for that big weekly family breakfast (see my note about the flour above - makes it simple to use your regular recipes). Just skip rolls and biscuits and crackers with meals. Use fresh veggies for dipping instead of chips. You get the idea.


LOW CARB
In September my husband's doctor advised him to adopt a low-carb lifestyle. Having adopted gluten-free and leaned toward Paleo over the past few years, this would seem simple, right? But I looked at what we were eating and saw more revision needed. So we cut out a few more things that had slipped back into the pantry. We examined the amount of sugar that had crept in. It has had some effect but not as much as I would like, so I am looking again for ways to cut back. Sometimes a drastic change works, sometimes it's a slow progression.

HIGH FAT
Before you jump up and holler, listen for a few minutes.
Fat has gotten a bad reputation mostly because all the studies have been funded by the sugar industry. And because people also misunderstand the relationship between the fat we eat and the fat we, well, wear.
Also keep in mind that "high fat" does not mean we are gorging on fatty meats - let's not fall into the mindset that fueled disputes over Atkins and other diets. It means that the perentage of Fat/Protein/Carbs in our daily eating is 50%/30%/20%. On an average.
Yes, we have bacon, eggs, and berries with whipped cream every weekday. That's 2 strips of bacon each, one egg for me and 2 for him, and a half cup of mixed berries with 2 tablespoons of whipped cream. We have discovered that this is a perfect 50/30/20 breakfast! It isn't the breakfast for everyone, but it is a balanced and normal meal - nothing overloaded - so that's why I specifically shared it. We each have something different for lunch, but basically meat/cheese with veggies and/or fruit. Dinner is another basic meal - last night we had pork chops (one 4 oz chop each) with mashed sweet potato (seasoned with cinnamon and butter) and a salad (greens topped with grated carrot, some nuts and seeds, a few dried raisins/cranberries/cherries, a couple tablespoons of dressing all in a large bowl). Again, the point here is that meals are normal and easy, trying to keep the ratio of fat/protein/carbs in line for the whole day.
Confession - we still have a dish of ice cream in the evening, but we have cut it to a real serving (1/2 cup) and we figure it into the day right from the start. The same with candy at the moment: I still have 1 ounce o dark chocolate and he has a small handful of his candy-of-the-week. (Looking at cutting that back, but we'll see.)

BULLETPROOF COFFEE
Several people asked about how I drink my bulletproof coffee, and so here's an update:
To a large mug (you'll need extra room - for 12 oz coffee I use a 16 oz mug and it's tight) add:
2T each butter (I use Kerrygold) and coconut oil (I use unrefined, but if the taste bothers you use refined)
1T cocoa
a sprinkle of cinnamon
a splash of cream (or the milk of your choice)
coffee
Put all the additions in the mug and then pour in the hot coffee.
Use your immersion/stick blender and carefully blend for about a minute. DONE!
I know, I had told you to put all of this in a blender, but I recently began using the immersion blender and it works perfectly and the coffee stays hotter. Plus the immersion blender is faster and easier to clean - just rinse with hot water and let it dry! So if putting this all in the regular blender and then having to clean that blender was deterring you, try it this way! And of course adjust the amounts of the additives to suit your taste (more/less cocoa or cinnamon or cream - delete an ingredient completely if you wish) because the important parts are the coffee, the butter and the coconut oil. Cinnamon and cocoa are also beneficial. If you delete the cocoa, you might find that a teaspoon of vanilla extract makes the taste smoother. If you like mint, toss in 1/2 tsp (more or less) peppermint extract. Have fun with it!

BOTTOM LINE
Food is our friend and our medicine chest. Eat to be well, stay well and get well. Adjust whatever areas of your diet and make permanent changes, not short-term (unless you are testing for sensitivity - then you may need to do a short-term change). Eat sensible portions. And don't apologize for your choices or feel pressured to at something you don't want in your diet. Make choices - and if the choice is to have a piece of cake a a gathering, do so without guilt. Adjust the rest of your day. Think ahead.
And most of all - forgive yourself and move on when you do something off-plan. None of use is perfect - least of all me!

Please send your experiences and comments and suggestions!

To Paleo or Not to Paleo?

Have you been hearing or reading about the Paleo way of eating? 

[Let me take a second to vent: I am distressed about the way the word "diet" has been changed - everyone talks about following "a diet", but in reality however one eats is ones diet. So I will not be calling this a diet, but rather a preferred way of eating.]

Yes? Good - if you are reading about it then you are undoubtedly at least intrigued.

No? Then I encourage you to do so.

Am I going to preach here about how following the Paleo eating guidelines are superior to any other way of eating? No, not exactly. Rather, I would like to simply point out a few lessons learned and encourage you to test them in your own life.

I began investigating the Paleo way of eating when my son began talking about it. I liked most of what I read, but there were some things that bothered me: no sugar, no dairy and no grains.  Hmmm, I thought, that means no spaghetti, no french toast, no yogurt - and no ice cream!

But I read about people who were stronger, thinking more clearly, feeling healthier ... all things I wanted in my life. And like anything else, if you want the results you have to invest in the practice. I confess that I began in the negative - rather than thinking of it as a change I started removing things: no more cereal, no yogurt in my smoothies, no... no... no... See the pattern? I was trying to change by focusing on what not to eat.

Then I started reading books like The Paleo Solution and Everyday Paleo. I began seeing how much easier and better it would be to begin focusing on new recipes we could try rather than focusing on what we were no longer going to eat.

Have we completely "gone Paleo"? No, and that leads to some more lessons learned.

WISE CHOICES: We went out to dinner for Father's Day, and reviewing the menu it was easy to choose something that fit the way I choose to eat: a steak, a salad, and a baked sweet potato. It was my plan to stop there, and that would have been perfect. In fact, I later learned that it would have been perfect based on calories as well (I track my daily eating on an app called Lose IT!  and it keeps a tally of the calories). However, I let myself be enticed by a piece of New York-style cheesecake. What a mistake! Not only did that throw me 1050 calories over the ideal, it sent me into gastric distress that robbed me of a night's sleep and made it necessary for me to stay home from the office the next day. Lessons? That huge influx of dairy and sugar and grain was too much for my system now that I have drastically decreased those things, and many of the digestive issues I have had over the years are likely the result of similar poor choices.

IT'S NOT CHEATING: Once I began really trying to walk the Paleo talk, there were things I would call "cheats". But I have recently begun to reconsider that term, because a "cheat" denotes a feeling of doing something wrong. So from now on I will refer to these as allowances. I have allowed myself to hang onto a little dairy+sugar in the form of ice cream. It is real ice cream, not low-fat-sugar-free-ice-cream-wannabe. I have tried to eat this little 150-calorie treat either when I come home (while fixing dinner) or immediately after dinner. I will likely continue this through summer and then as the weather cools and the desire for ice cream lessens, I hope the taste for it will be gone by next summer. Lesson? If there is something that doesn't result in negative consequences and you can allow it to yourself from time to time, do so.

ON THE POSITIVE SIDE: We have a lot of stuff in our pantry that is non-Paleo-friendly, like flour and oatmeal and rice. They are still there. But I am not focusing on the fact that we are not using them - I am looking at all the good recipes from people like Sarah Fragoso (follow her blog at everydaypaleo.com) and enjoying lots of new dishes. There are lots of things we have always eaten that fit our new eating style too. Lesson? Focus on what you ARE doing and not on what you are NOT doing.

ANYTHING I CAN DO...: Please note that most of the pronouns in this article are in the first person singular. While my beloved husband is forced to eat what I choose to prepare for dinner, he still sticks to his preferred breakfast and lunch. Without going into details, let me assure you that is it carb-laden and far from Paleo. Lesson? fight the battles you can, and let the rest go. I am not going to change the entire world, and each person must make his/her own decision to buy into a lifestyle and dietary change.

I AM NOT SICK: It occurred to me the other day that I have come through the winter and spring without a cold - not that it was common for me to get lots of colds, but perhaps one a year. So this past week we have had a lot of non-Paleo treats at the office and I crumpled in the face of temptation. Chocolate chip cookies, mini-muffins ... and then some of the gumdrops my husband keeps around ... candy ... and what attacked me today? A cold! Lesson? What I eat does affect my health and all that crap does affect my immune system.

Yes, there are other lessons - and there will continue to be lessons. We are not totally Paleo, and rather than taking a 30-day cold-turkey approach we are gradually making changes to our diet and lifestyle. (Yet another lesson - this may seem better but it probably is not. It really would be better to make the change all at once.)

Do I want all of you to immediately become devotees of the Paleo lifestyle? It would be great if you are so moved, but most of all I would like you to evaluate what changes you would like to see in your life, what changes in your diet and lifestyle need to happen to achieve those results, and then go forward and do it.

I hope you'll follow our journey and benefit from our lessons, and I would love to hear your lessons and comments!

A REAL VACATION

This week my husband and I have been at the beach - Ocean City MD - for a vacation. Seems simple, but this is the first time we have had an entire week that is truly vacation.

Usually there are conventions associated with our time here, with a couple days being actual time off. Usually my husband has meetings and I spend my time writing while also keeping up with things at the office.

But this week we have done nothing but "vacate".

Every day was a no-alarm-day. Most days we decided what to do that morning, even if we thought about it the night before. The day it rained we pretty much stayed in the hotel.

Here at the end of this wonderful week, I am looking back at the peace and relaxation we have enjoyed. Mini-golf, wineries, skee ball... Even on the boardwalk this morning (with the weekend crowd having arrived) it seemed relaxing because we had nowhere to go that we didn't feel like going.

This morning I had an incredible experience - God spoke to me as I was waking (see my other blog, Prayer Under the Palm Tree, for more about that). And I realized that we are so rushed, so appointment-oriented, so planned and and scheduled, that I rarely have time for God to talk to me so clearly. There is always noise and haste. As soon as I open my eyes I am thinking about my workout, my breakfast, my day's schedule. I hit the ground running already feeling like I am behind.

So several lessons have come from this week away:

• take time all the time; set aside some free time, like Sunday afternoons, for just doing something fun - alone or with others
• start the day slowly; lay in bed a few minutes and just listen to the birds, say good morning to God, do some deep breathing
• exercise; even a few minutes of walking/marching/running in place or some stretching will get your metabolism started and will relax you for the day. Then take a few breaks in the day to do something: talk a walk, stretch and try to touch the ceiling and then the floor.
• Priorotize: determine what must be done and get it done; then choose what you want to do with the time that's left and do that.
• Plan for fun times. We are at the end of this vacation, but we are already looking forward to the next time we come (a weekend in winter?) and planning another week here (next May?). Plan rewards.

Whether it's an afternoon, a day, a weekend or a week, everyone needs some true down time. Plan it, and then keep to the plan. Perhaps all you can manage is a Sunday afternoon sitting in your favorite chair reading a book. Maybe you can manage a whole week at the beach or in the mountains. Whatever you can eke out, do it for yourself.

And perhaps you'll let me know what YOU learned?

The Year of Humility Continues

Just turning the calendar page apparently does not mean that we have learned all we are supposed to learn. Last year was The Year of Humility - a lesson I needed to learn and was forced to face by leading a retreat on the topic. Apparently, I still need some lessons...

Yesterday I received my annual performance appraisal, and was blind-sided by the report that staff members find me to be negative. To say I was stunned and hurt is an understatement. My perception of me (and my wholehearted desire) is of being supportive, encouraging, and appreciative. I love to tell people how well they are doing, and encourage them to pursue what gives them joy. One of my mantras is "if that makes your job easier".

Another lesson in humility - another area I did not explore last year - is that how I see myself is not how others see me. And added to that is that what I think others want from me may not be accurate at all. My perceptions and filters are all clouded by ... selfishness? Pride? and unwillingness to change?

So thus begins a period of re-examining what I do for others and how, and how I can be a better servant leader. Of being quiet and listening more closely.

Any ideas? Have you experienced this?

peace and quiet and time to write

It's 9:30 am here, and I have been enjoying a morning of peace and quiet and time to write. Craig is off to work, and other humans (and the dogs) are still sleeping. The bunnies have had breakfast and are happily playing in their yard - I can hear them leaping and tossing toys around as bunnies do.

Outside the window I see a constant stream of cars, a few walkers, and a couple of cyclists. The sun is shining and it looks delightful - which is deceiving because the weather app advises that the actual temperature is not yet up to freezing and the wind chill is in the teens.

So here I sit in the warmth of my dining room, having enjoyed a bowl of the delicious granola gifted by a friend and about to enjoy a hot cup of cocoa complete with whipped cream. Yes, it is Saturday, a Saturday without specific commitments, and therefore a morning of peace and quiet and time to write.

Now that the cleaning out of my father's house has been completed, I am cherishing these opportunities. As much as I dislike winter for its cold, I do like the chance to sit indoors like this without feeling the tug to complete outdoor chores. Once we hit March and new growth begins, mornings will be pressed into service with weeding and cleaning out and preparing for the new season.

Here however we are still in the season of rest - winter is a season for dormancy and renewal. So often we see it as dead and unproductive. But beneath the surface, all of those seeds and soil are resting, gathering nutrients and strength for another growing season.

I am beginning to see winter as that opportunity for me too - a time to spend Saturday mornings in my bathrobe at the diningroom table enjoying a cup of cocoa, thepeace and quiet and time to write.

Which just ended with the sound of puppy paws racing toward the door followed by the removal of the leash from its hook. Oh well... Next Saturday ....

Getting Back to Basics

A few weeks ago, I decided to start something "new" by going back to using witch hazel as a toner for my face. That was the first "beauty product" I used as a teenager. Dampen a cotton ball with the witch hazel and wipe it over your face as a toner/astringent. When you have acne, it stings a little, but it is gentle enough for the dry skin of a more mature face.

A few minutes ago I was doing dishes and reached for one of the other basics - baking soda - as a scouring agent for the pot I was scrubbing. Baking soda is a perfect scouring powder, it works great as a drain cleaner when paired with vinegar, and can be added to laundry as a detergent booster. For starters.

And that white vinegar? In addition to pairing well with baking soda as a drain cleaner, it is a great antibacterial agent, so you can spritz it on counters, wash cutting boards, and pour a few tablespoons in the laundry. It works well to clean windows and spraying it on those little "accidents" the puppy leaves deters the offender from returning to the same spot. For starters.

Why do I bring up all these simple things? Companies are being urged to remove chemicals and non-natural items from products, but we are still dependent on so many chemicals and additives. Every week another new "natural" product appears on the grocery shelf, but it's still important to read those labels. Instead, let's get back to the basics.

Another place this is being seen: glass vs. plastic. Companies who make leftover dishes are putting out glass versions. We are being cautioned not to reheat our leftovers in plastic bowls. The latest trend? Mason jars. Wide-mouthed Mason jars. We get them free when buying such staples as spaghetti sauce, or we can get them at the store for about a dollar each. There are fancy ones, but the basics are still the best. Online you can find suggestions for using these jars to make layered salads and breakfasts. And of course it's simple to put your soup or other leftovers in one and warm them right in the jar (take off that metal lid!) or dump a serving onto a plate.

So get back to basics. Save money and save the environment. Look to the old ways... go online when you have a few minutes and search for uses for vinegar, baking soda, peroxide, and other basics.

And then share them with the rest of us!